I Did NOT Give My Boys Autism.

I read an blog a while ago and was annoyed while I read it but put it in the back on my mind.  Yesterday a friend who has a daughter with Autism re-posted it.  It wasn't re-posted because it was a good blog, it was re-posted because it made us sad, and angry for the writer.  She was blaming a million things that she did that she believes gave her child Autism.  I do not believe I did anything go give G&L Autism.  There are so many factors that causes Autism, I'm not sure if they'll ever really be able to pin point it to one thing.  Just like my dear friend S, here is my list of things that I did, that did not give my boys Autism.

I did not give my boys Autism by having twins.
I did not give my boys Autism by doing fertility treatments.
I did not give my boys Autism by having weekly ultrasounds to make sure they were still OK since they had problems in the womb.
I did not give my boys Autism by my water breaking early causing them to be preemies.
I did not give my boys Autism by being on bed rest.
I did not give my boys Autism by holding them too much as babies.
I did not give my boys Autism by not holding them enough as babies.
I did not give my boys Autism by using life saving medication to keep them alive after birth.
I did not give my boys Autism by watching Sons of Anarchy while I was pregnant with them.
I did not give my boys Autism by starting them in therapy as soon as they got home from the NICU.
I did not give my boys Autism by smoking while I was in college.
I did not give my boys Autism by crying myself to sleep praying that in the morning they would no longer struggle.
I did not give my boys Autism by having an emergency c-section.
I did not give my boys Autism by brushing my teeth or brushing theirs.
I did not give my boys Autism by taking an antibiotic while PG for an infection.
I did not give my boys Autism by loving them too much.
I did not give my boys Autism by watching Army Wives while they were sleeping on me.
I did not give my boys Autism by dreaming about when they go to college, military or get married.
I did not give my boys Autism by them having a chromosome deletion.
I did not give my boys Autism by passing down my food allergies.
I did not give my boys Autism by doing my own research.
I did not give my boys Autism by staring at them while the sleep (creepy I know)
I did not give my boys Autism...
I did not give my boys Autism...
I did not give my boys Autism...
I did not give my boys Autism...


This list could go on for ever! Bottom line is, I know I did nothing to "cause" there Autism.  No, I did not have the perfect pregnancy, they did not have the ideal birth, but the were born into a loving family that would give up their own life to make sure theirs is the best it could possibly be.  I wish they didn't have Autism, I with L didn't have heart problems, I wish G didn't have mobility issues, but they do.  I would take them away in a heartbeat if giving the option.  I can't.  Therefore, instead of dwelling on it, and beating myself up over what I did "wrong" to cause it, we live for the day and celebrate these fragile little lives.  Some days are hard, like put the white flag up in the air and scream, "I want to surrender," hard, but they are my children, I love them and will do my best for them.  Blaming myself for what others consider their imperfections will not help them thrive, will not help them become better people, and it sure as heck won't change anything.