Not a day goes by...

Not a day goes by, that the word, "Autism" isn't always in my head.  I think about it while I'm grocery shopping, going to bed, watching movies, talking to people about other things, etc.  I think there was an occasion maybe a few months ago at a girls night out that I forgot for a minute.  Then, it happened...everyone started talking about their "typical" kids.  I love all their kids, I love them like they were my own, but I get jealous!

Why do I get jealous?  I get jealous at the funny things your kids say, the games they play, the crafts they make and when I hear them call you momma or dadda. I get jelous that while we're running from therapy appointments to Dr. appointments your going on play dates and shopping. I get jealous that all your kids can go to any preschool you choose, while we have to fight to get two spots in a special needs school...the only one in the county.  I'm jealous of your family vacations that we may never be able to take. Have I mentioned that I'm jealous that your kids can eat in a restaurant and eat real food and not throw it at people? G&L were delayed, but that was OK.  The specialist kept telling us they would catch up by the time they were two like most preemies.  We just kept telling ourselves that two was the magic number. Oh, I guess I need to throw in, that even though I get jealous of friends, I still love them. <3

As two was approaching we knew for sure our adorable little men did not catch up.  In fact, we were telling the Dr.'s when they were 1, that we knew they had Autism.  We were always told, they just have delays.  18 months came approached, and they grew more concered.  We hit the big two!  Suddenly, MRI's were ordered, blood tests were taken, more specialist were introduced we learned about genetics and chromosomes and epilepsy and Autism and just about everything else under the son.

I now walk around with a medical notebook about the size of two old school encyclopedia's that contains test results, evaluations, medical papers, research, studies done in other countries and perhaps some coffee stains and cookie crumbs (all that research can make a girl sleepy and hungry).

In just a few short weeks my babies are turning three!  I can already see what amazing little boys they are becoming.  They work so hard and they don't let anything hold them back. Of course they get tired and cranky and have day that they just don't want to do anything with therapy, but everyone has days like that.  Especially toddlers.  I still have big dreams for them.  A friend asked what could I see them being when they grow up.  Even with their disabilities I can see G being and Engineer.  He loves to inspect things close up, and figure out how they work.  Show this kid some gears and he'll be happy for hours.  I can see L being a math genius!  This kid loves numbers, math, watches, anything with numbers.  He must have gotten that from his dad.   The hubs is the one who got me through algebra.  Without him, I may have never graduated from college!

So, the gist of this post?  I'm not really sure!  Just throwing some stuff out there.  But to end on a good note, sweet L, would like to sing everyone a bed time story.