I've Been A Bad, Bad Blogger

I just noticed after a friend pointed it out, that this is my one year blog anniversary.  My last post was May 8th. I didn't forget about my blog, life took over. The Hubs has been deployed, the boys have turned into three year olds, who may I add everyone warns you about the terrible two's....no one ever warns you about the terrorsit threes!!!  Good Lord these boys are testing my patience. 

A little update...OK, so it will be a long update. G&L were in summer school all summer. It was only half day, but it was better than nothing.  It helped them stay in the groove of school.  We also took them to the beach, Sea World and some local places.  They LOVED the beach!  The hubs and I got to go away for the night and headed to the coast.  We fell in love with a little beach town and are trying to make it our mission to move there.  Surprisingly for a little beach town they have some amazing Autism resources and special programs for the boys, which besides the hubs having a job, is our top priority.

The new school year has been off to a great start.  The boys are doing well and love their teachers.  Two of them are the same teachers from last year, which I think has helped with their transition.  L has become a talking MACHINE!  One day he came up to me and said out of the blue, "Hiya Mama!"  I about fell over!  A lot of his speech is repeating what he hears, and then then turns it into his own sentence, but I'll take it! Sensory wise, he still has issues but we've seen so much improvement!  We just switched to a new OT, so fingers crossed it goes well. L is also a ladies man!  He loves the ladies, young and old.

G has made some progress.  It's been a slow progress, but progress is progress in my book!  He now knows most of his animals and the sounds that go with them.  He's definitely become a stubborn little boy!  I think his stubbornness and drive to want to do things on his own more and more, will help in the long run. He's a boy who knows what he wants and goes after it, or throws himself on the floor and screams til we can figure out what he's after so we can help him.  He still has his basic food group of cream cheese, goldfish crackers, banana's, grapes and blueberries. 

Both boys have started horse therapy!  G jumped on the horse like he's been doing it his entire life...you know, all three years of it.  L was a little but more apprehensive but once he was on there he was loving it!  I was so proud of both of them for trying something new.  The hardest part was trying to get them to wear the riding helmets.  After we won that battle it was smooth sailing. Here they are on their horses!

Although I normally keep this blog about the boys, I just have to share that this mama bear just learned how to shoot a gun, so watch out!  I was terrified at first, I had never even touched a gun!  Thanks to my awesome friend M and a nice man at the range, they both made me confident enough to try it.  I seriously loved it!  It was empowering just to know, that I could do it, and it wasn't as terrifying as I thought it would be.  Do I want a gun in the house? No.  I'm not ready for that, I don't know if I ever will be, but at least I know I'm not scared of them anymore, and I know how to handle one.

                                                                        That's Me!
                                                         (Real women shoot in flip flops!)

My goal for the next few months, for all three of my bloggers fans, (Hi Mom, Dad and Sissypants) is too try to keep up with this thing.  I started it for a reason, and I hate that I let it go.  Gotta follow through Yo!

The Day I Realized I Can't Do It On My Own

I think as parents, regardless if your children have Autism or some other disability, you have that one point where you think you just can't go on for another minute.  I"m currently the VP of our local Mom of Multiples group, which has allowed me to meet so many strong, amazing women, that I otherwise may not have met.  There are many members in our group who serve in the military or have a spouse in the military, leaving us to often running the household on our own very often.

While talking to a friend this evening from the multiples group, we were sharing things we do to make it through.  I used to be the, "No, I don't want or need any help," person. Now I'm the, "YES!! Please help me person!"  I've finally started to admit to others that I have a secret.  Reguardless what others think, I am not super woman.  I'm damn tired.  G&L hardly sleep, they scream yell, meltdown and make me question my sanity.  I remembered the first time I realized I need to say, "Yes, I'll take your help."

Last summer I signed the boys up for a gymnastics class with some other friends.  I don't know what made me think this would be the best thing ever.  I have to say it was 99% awful!  L would run in circles and then go back to screaming, sometimes crying, G would either hide in a tunnel somewhere or hang on the door trying to leave.  Then there was that one day.  We got there a little early (big mistake) the boys didn't and still don't understand the concept of waiting, so they were screaming and crying and hitting me because I wouldn't let them run a muck while the other class was still going on.  I literately sat down in the middle of the gym, in front of complete strangers and just started crying. I couldn't keep it in. I tried.  The boys were just diagnosed with Autism, the hubs was deployed and I just wanted to hit the pause button.  What started out as teary eyes, turned into the ugly cry right there, in front of a bunch of moms and two years olds that I didn't know.  One sweet mom came up to me and said, "It's OK, we all have these days."  It was that day, that I decided if someone asks me if I need help, and I do, I will swallow my pride and accept it.  Once I made that deal with myself things got a little easier.  Autism is a Bitch. If people want to help to make our lives a little better or just offer some kind words, who am I to stop them.  I sometimes still say, "No Thank You" but then regret it minutes later while I have two children throwing themselves on the sidewalk having a meltdown.  Today a friend picked up some diapers for me.  Although it may not seem huge to some, G&L were having a horrible stimming day today, and the thought of bringing them in public to get stared at and play 20 questions with strangers wasn't my idea of fun. A saved the day by bring diapers and goldfish!

My point is, as parents I think we often want everyone to think we can do it all, that we are unstoppable.  Well, I'll tell you what this mama, knows she can't do it all alone, but she can do it with the help of her awesome friends.

Why I support Autism Speaks.

As we approach April 2nd, and the "Light It Up Blue" campaign from Autism Speaks I feel I need to share our story, as too why we support it.  I know there are many that do not, and they are entitled to their own opinion.  This is just my view, as a mom to two amazing, smart boys with Autism.

To start, if one person asks me to educate them about Autism beause of Light it UP Blue and World Autism Day, then to me, it's a success.  Secondly, for our family, Autism Speaks has helped us first hand.  When the boys were first diagnosed with Autism almost a year ago, we felt lost, defeated, and like we were the worst parents in the world.  G&L we diagnosed as moderate to severe, we were given suggestions on what to do as far as therapy, and then sent on our way.  What do we do with all this information?  Who do we turn too? I started researching on line and came across Autism Speaks.

After I wrote down a list of things to ask, I took the plunge and gave them ( Autism Speaks) a call.  The person I spoke too, gave me a ton of information and was able to point us in a direction and helped us get started.  We were given phone number to call that could help us locally, different therapies, and most of all, this woman listened to me cry for about an hour.  To this day, I still speak to this woman and she checks in to see how the boys are doing.  Although we have never met, I consider her a friend, she was there to help us, when we felt lost.  Now, a year later, I am stronger, my husband is stronger, and most importantly, G&L are stronger and doing amazing things. 

Where does all the money go?  Last year while I was fundraising for the March of Dimes people were boycotting, saying they only get $.10 on the dollar and that was why it was called March of Dimes.  that is false, as is a lot of things that are spread about non profit organizations.  You can look up just about any organization online and there will be good things said, as well as bad things, and many things that contradict each other.

If I can help one person who is newly diagnosed, or educate one person, or help one family get the care they need to give their loved one with Autism the best life possible and the best services, I'm going to do it. 

 You can agree with me, or disagree with me, we all have our opinions.  My views are coming with my personal experience on how Autism Speaks helped my family.  I will "Light it Up Blue" and I will walk with pride on April 26th to raise money and awareness.  Most importantly I will continue to love my children for everything they are and everything they will become. They're going places in this world and I am honored that I am here to be by their side and chosen to be their mother.