I think as parents, regardless if your children have Autism or some other disability, you have that one point where you think you just can't go on for another minute. I"m currently the VP of our local Mom of Multiples group, which has allowed me to meet so many strong, amazing women, that I otherwise may not have met. There are many members in our group who serve in the military or have a spouse in the military, leaving us to often running the household on our own very often.
While talking to a friend this evening from the multiples group, we were sharing things we do to make it through. I used to be the, "No, I don't want or need any help," person. Now I'm the, "YES!! Please help me person!" I've finally started to admit to others that I have a secret. Reguardless what others think, I am not super woman. I'm damn tired. G&L hardly sleep, they scream yell, meltdown and make me question my sanity. I remembered the first time I realized I need to say, "Yes, I'll take your help."
Last summer I signed the boys up for a gymnastics class with some other friends. I don't know what made me think this would be the best thing ever. I have to say it was 99% awful! L would run in circles and then go back to screaming, sometimes crying, G would either hide in a tunnel somewhere or hang on the door trying to leave. Then there was that one day. We got there a little early (big mistake) the boys didn't and still don't understand the concept of waiting, so they were screaming and crying and hitting me because I wouldn't let them run a muck while the other class was still going on. I literately sat down in the middle of the gym, in front of complete strangers and just started crying. I couldn't keep it in. I tried. The boys were just diagnosed with Autism, the hubs was deployed and I just wanted to hit the pause button. What started out as teary eyes, turned into the ugly cry right there, in front of a bunch of moms and two years olds that I didn't know. One sweet mom came up to me and said, "It's OK, we all have these days." It was that day, that I decided if someone asks me if I need help, and I do, I will swallow my pride and accept it. Once I made that deal with myself things got a little easier. Autism is a Bitch. If people want to help to make our lives a little better or just offer some kind words, who am I to stop them. I sometimes still say, "No Thank You" but then regret it minutes later while I have two children throwing themselves on the sidewalk having a meltdown. Today a friend picked up some diapers for me. Although it may not seem huge to some, G&L were having a horrible stimming day today, and the thought of bringing them in public to get stared at and play 20 questions with strangers wasn't my idea of fun. A saved the day by bring diapers and goldfish!
My point is, as parents I think we often want everyone to think we can do it all, that we are unstoppable. Well, I'll tell you what this mama, knows she can't do it all alone, but she can do it with the help of her awesome friends.