Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.

When I started this blog, my friend Sabrina told me I need to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly.  Lord knows there's a lot of all three.  So, I"m taking Sabrina's advice.  So here it go...

The Good:  My kids are ROCKSTARS!  I'm mean like total complete ROCKSTARS!!! They are fighters, they have spunk, they love there momma, they have overcome so many obstacles.  They inspire me to do better, to be a better person, to be a better mother and have made me realize what my purpose in life is.  I remember back in my early 20's when I swore I never wanted to get married, let alone have children.  My how things change. Now I'm happily married with gorgeous, smart, and loving twinadoes!  I'm a lucky girl!

The Bad:  We have some very bad days.  Sometimes I feel like the bad days can out weigh the good day.  When I'm having those days, I just take a look back at how far we've come.  From having little preemies fighting for their life in the NICU to our now strong, handsome 2.5 year olds. What makes the bad? Bad sensory days, days where Autism and all their other medical problems seem all consuming, multiple Dr. appointments and therapy appointments all in one day. Vomiting because of smells or tasting a new food, screeching that can break the sound barrier, not hearing any of your little loves say "momma" or "dadda," hearing rude comments from strangers and even sometimes family members, hearing the words, "Well, Jenny McCarthy cured her son." There's also my favorite from a stranger when we were in the post office while G was in his walker, "You must be a bad Christian for GOD to give you a damaged child." No Lady, YOU are the bad Christian for passing judgement on an innocent child, aren't we all GOD's children?...oh and guess what, I'm JEWISH!!!" She had quite the look of shock on her face.  Just a little side story, when H and I moved to our very southern rural town I went to CVS and asked if they had Chanukah cards.  The sales person said, "What's that?" Our little town has come a long way.  They now carry two Chanukah cards at our local CVS!

The Ugly:  When my child wakes up from his nap covered in poop (such as today) and we have less then 10  minutes to get out the door to make it to an appointment in time that's an hour away.  Did I mention the poop was in his nails, on his face, his paci, the walls, his clothes, the carpet?  EVERYWHERE!!!! The other one often wakes up screaming his head off throwing himself everywhere and throwing everything around him.  The medical bills that keep piling up.  Sure, we have insurance but it doesn't cover everything.  Between doctors, therapists, medical equipment, duct tape to keep diapers on, etc, we are up to our eyeballs in bills.  If the hubs were to ever lose his job, we'd have to move back to NJ and live with my parents.  That would be one crowded little house!  At least we would have built in babysitters.

So, there you have it.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  Of course it changes daily.  I'm not one to have a big whining fest, but this is just a glimpse of our lives.  Even with the ugly, we still are very blessed to have what we do have.  Like I said earlier, my children are ROCKSTARS!  G is 2.5 and can read words and L can count to a gazillion and sing the alphabet. He even wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes and yells out the entire alphabet and goes back to sleep. I"m pretty sure these boys of mine have a million things going on in their minds and the hubs and I need to help them get it out.  We laugh, we cry, we make fun of ourselves, and from time to time our kids (not in a mean way, of course).  As I once said in another post, our family can best be described as beautiful chaos.  I'm sure there are many others going through what we go through, and a lot more, just remember it's all for a reason, it's for those beautiful little babies (yes, even when they're 50 they will still be my babies).  We our their voice.


  1. Cara Darling,
    I love that you are so honest with this blog. All of the good, the bad and the ugly make up one heck of a beautiful family. I am so blessed to know you, and to love your babies! You will forever be my favorite Jew!

  2. Hi! I found your blog a few weeks ago. Maybe linked from Kellys Korner? I can't remember... Anyway, I just wanted to say that you are doing an amazing job with your sweet boys! My 7 year old son is PDD-NOS. We did years worth of speech therapy, OT, the PPCD pre-school program at our local school starting at age 3, oh, and he also loved playing with his poopy diapers in bed. Always an awesome surprise when you are in a hurry. Thanks for sharing your story!

    - Molly